On a warm night in June, I found myself walking in a residential area with someone I had a long time crush on.
How is it that we could be together sharing a moment that I could only dream of? Maybe I was dreaming. If I was, I didn’t want to wake up.
We walked along, and he would twirl me every so often. At some point, he said something that made me face him. “Why would I do that?” I asked him. “Don’t you want to move up?” he asked me. “Well, yeah, but I don’t want to use you to do it”, I countered. At this point, he had gotten very close to my face and put his arm around my waist. “You can use me all you want”, he said softly, trying to catch my eye. Just being in his arms was making me feel dizzy. As if that wasn’t enough, he began nuzzling my neck.
I felt his hot breath on my neck, then something warm that I knew was more than just his breath. Was he kissing me? I shouldn’t allow this; no man has kissed my neck before. The feeling of it was slightly ticklish but wholly sensual. Now I get why people like this. Hot and bothered took on a very literal meaning in that moment; my ears and face were very warm from blushing.
Just when I thought I would faint, he pulled away from my neck, and tilted his head to try kissing my mouth. A streak of fear ran through me, and it was enough to pull me out of my stupor and pull away from him. He caught my hand and tried to look at me. “What, no lips?” he exclaimed. “What’s the hold up?” he asked. I had no words to answer him; I just refused to meet his gaze. I was too afraid to touch back, and to let him know what his touch was doing to me. I was losing control, and I knew it. “All right”, he said, twirled me, and we walked on while still holding hands.
We walked a little further, and as I walked on, he had stopped, and tugged my hand. I looked back and ended up in the circle of his arms once again. He caressed my neck again with his lips, and worked his way from one side to the other. It alarmed me how disarming this touch was; even his breath against my neck was enough to quell any more resistance. This time, when he went to kiss my lips, I let him.
Can a touch arouse you, overwhelm you, and make you feel safe at the same time? If it can, his did.