I miss you. A lot. I have for a while, regardless of whether I should or not. In fact, that’s the real reason I drove 2 hours to your new job. I drove there to see you. And for the record, it was worth driving two hours even though I only got to see you for about 20 minutes. It was also worth seeing the shock and surprise on your face when you saw who was standing in front of you, and for rendering you speechless for once. I should’ve told you that when you asked me.
There’s a lot of things I should have said when we did have time together, but I was too afraid. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. Whether I was justified or not to not trust you, I should’ve given you a chance anyhow. I had a crush on you for years, and was too afraid to seize the opportunity when you showed interest back. Maybe I was skeptical, but I know that mostly I was afraid. I was afraid of being hurt by you, afraid you really wouldn’t like me, and afraid of my own feelings for you. Now I’m sitting here a year later regretting that I let fear control my interaction with you.
I hope that we might cross paths again so I can tell you the truth, but it might not happen. It makes me sad that this may be the case, but just know this: yes, I did like you. I really liked you. I thought you were insanely attractive (which is why I was nervous and quiet around you all the time), you were a gentleman and you were fun to talk to. And I felt safe around you. No matter how afraid I may have been, something about you made me want to be brave. Also, when I was in your arms, I don’t know how to explain this, but I felt like I belonged somewhere. So if nothing else, I wish you could know that.
By the way, you’re the first guy that ever sang to and for me. You said you played guitar, but I didn’t realize how good you are until you played for me. It’s the most beautiful and romantic thing a man has ever done for me, and I’ll never forget it, even if I go on to date and marry someone else. It made me feel very special. So thank you.