A Healing Walk

I had a bit of a letdown today. I was disappointed, and left my apartment/dorm to take a walk.

I walked all the way down my street until I got to the end of the street. There’s a raised walkway that overlooks the Brooklyn Bridge park, and that’s where I ended up. I started crying openly. How odd that I would feel like I had enough privacy to cry in a public place. I did, though. I cried freely and as long as I needed to. For a brief minute, I missed my deceased grandfather, and cried a little more. Shortly after, when my eyes were no longer blurred with tears, I looked down and saw this food market that a friend from school had told me about. There were a bunch of tents, and it looked like a farmer’s market.

“I wonder how I get there”, I thought. Without thinking too much about it, I left that place and went to find out how to get down there. I walked up a couple of streets until I found a street that went on a downward slope. “Well, this looks like the best way”, I thought.

I walked down the street on a hill, and ended up precisely where I wanted to go. I didn’t know that Brooklyn Bridge had a park! Shoot, I wish I had known about it earlier!

I walked on the walkways, and stood to look at the water lapping against the rocks. The sound of the water hitting the rocks sounded so soothing and helped me relax and be calm. I could have been content with doing this, but I decided to keep walking around and try to find those food stalls.

They were in plain sight, but I had to walk though a small opening in this large gate to get there. I don’t know if it’s because they weren’t yet fully open, but I went through and walked around. At that moment, I was sorry to only have $.59 in my bank account, but I could afford to look around at everything. I don’t know about any of you, but do you know how hard it is to look around at good smelling food, and not get any? For a girl that loves food, this is a circle of hell for me. It’s one thing to decide that you aren’t getting anything; it’s another matter entirely to be tempted by the sound of things sizzling, be seduced by the aromas in the air, and you cannot partake because you cannot pay. It’s evil, I tell you! EVIL! And everything looked good! This also may have been because I left the house on an empty stomach and cried my eyeballs out. I don’t know about any of you, but being emotional makes me tired, and kind of hungry once I catch my breath.

I walked around and there were a good amount of food stalls. If I get money before I leave, I promise I’ll taste a couple of things for y’all in case you ever visit. Although I couldn’t taste anything, just being around it gave me a sense of comfort. When I can’t understand the stuff going on in my life, I can understand food. Even if it’s a food with which I’m unfamiliar, as long as I know how it’s supposed to taste, I can make sense of it. Food isn’t difficult, finicky or fickle; it is what it is, for better or for worse.

Sidenote: OMG, I hate sitting still! I’m sitting her bouncing both legs! And it’s pretty outside, and I’m stuck in here doing procrastinating on homework that I’m supposed to do! Argh! :End Sidenote. 

After walking around and looking at the food, I left that area, and walked around on the pier. I met a woman and her dog Penny, I saw a place where you can roller skate outside, a place to kayak, and I decided to swing on the swings. As I was on the swings, I started seeing myself swinging from a piece of rope with a wooden plank small enough for one to sit upon. I was swinging happily under a tree as petals fell around me, and canon in D was playing in my head. Ah, imagery.

After having that moment, I decided to walk back home. For some reason, the walk back home was extra rough. Maybe it was because I had to walk up a steep hill on a hot and humid day in jeans, on an empty stomach, and with no water. Just a guess.

I got back to the room feeling sweaty and tired, and ready to eat something. I got a glass of water and borrowed a pan to make some eggs. I ended up toasting some bread also and made an egg sandwich. I’ve (finally) mastered the art of making sandwiches in a small pan. The only thing was that I forgot to put a little oil or butter in the pan before I put the eggs in. I think I just got overzealous because I was hungry. Either way, the sandwich was delicious. It may not have looked like much to anyone else, but I certainly enjoyed eating it.

But you know what I want the most? I could really go for some McDonald’s. I don’t even like McDonald’s like that, but I’ve been wanting it very badly. I think I just want fast food because it would be quite the treat, and it’s so darn expensive to buy fast food here. As much as I like NYC, getting food is expensive… especially if you’re living like a college student and have mere change in your bank account. It’s rough, but I get by. I was darn near vegan the first one or two weeks because all I could afford was fruit, bread, and a couple of other things. Chicken was way too expensive for my minuscule budget.The only reason I ever ate any meat at all over the past 2 weeks was because of my merciful roommates. Thank God for my roommates; they helped me out on many a night for dinner. Though I haven’t had much, I’ve been lucky enough to have a dinner every night that consisted of more than cereal. Such a blessing.

The cooking has been simple these days (and not by me), so I haven’t been posting a food entry because of it. Sometimes simple food and a good walk is all a girl needs to set things back into perspective. Sure, the situation may not have changed, but at least how I looked at it has.


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