Change is Gonna Come

As I strolled down State Street in the stifling June heat, I walked past a consignment shop that I used to hit up when I had days off. After doing a double take, I noticed a table directly in front of the store’s entrance.

“Hmm, since when does that place have tables?” I pondered. Immediately, I crossed the street to investigate. To my dismay, I saw the shop stripped bare on the inside, and its name had been scraped from the door.

I took a moment to mourn it, and put my hand on the window. It looked so empty and sad! I have no idea when it closed, but it brought me to terms with the theme of my week:

Things are bound to change.

I went car shopping last Saturday, and it was most disappointing. A coworker with whom I’m good friends just worked her last week at our job because she is leaving for a new one. I also have a couple of friends–close friends– that will be getting married soon. Not to each other, but two separate friends. It’s one thing to have people you know get married, but when it’s your close friends, it hits home when you’re still single. The only vow I’m close to making would be that of celibacy. I admit to not being as joyful as I should’ve been for them. Finding good friends is a challenge, and feeling like you’re going to lose one helps nothing.

It felt like everyone else was moving on with their lives while mine stayed in park, despite my best efforts. I desperately wanted to go out to dance to relieve these stressors, but a friend that was going to take me bailed out. I ended up with a panic attack so bad that I couldn’t sleep. Feeling like the walls are closing in on you is never good. I blew things so out of proportion that I ended up with a miserable 5 hours of sleep, and had to work the next day. Trust me when I say that’s not a good time.

After hearing yet another friend talking nuptials, I took myself out for a walk and talked to the Lord. I had to reconcile with the fact that  things are going to change whether I like it or not, but that may not always be bad.

I’ve also decided to take my life out of park. Working on things that matter to me and taking care of myself will help me better appreciate the victories of others. My concentrations will be: food and writing, health and wellness, and engaging in other things that matter to me.

Things will continue to change, and I can’t stop it, but that’s okay. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, I’ll believe it. Happiness takes work, so let me get to work.

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