Menthol & Cigarettes

“Why would you stop there?!”

This is what the bus driver yelled at someone that stopped in a place where he couldn’t complete the turn he was making. Later on, he swore at someone else for doing something stupid.

Yep, it was that kind of day. I couldn’t fault the guy, though; I’ve gotten hot-headed on the road.

He ended up swearing later on at someone else that stopped in the most inconvenient of places. A young woman across from me look toward the front of the bus, and started laughing with her hand over her mouth. I laughed too, even though I was in a foul disposition.

Once again, I was up too early on my way to work, dozing until I got to my stop at the airport. At some point, someone brought on a floral and cigarette smell, but what was forever lingering in the air was that menthol scent that comes from cough drops, or the Vicks vapor rub that your mom slapped on your chest as a kid.

Maybe it was the Lord’s way of helping me breathe, because I was feeling stifled. As much as I enjoy my job, things just weren’t going the way I wanted, and I’m still not getting paid as much as I’d prefer. What I needed to do was stop being frustrated, just breathe, and allow things to get better. It may not happen when I want it to, but they’ll get better. The answer may not even be what I think it should be, but I’ll never hear it if my mind is moving too fast.

I got off the bus that day, leaving the smell of menthol & cigarettes on there. Later on that day, which felt impossibly long because of fatigue, I laid on the floor and breathed. I remember doing this when I had voice classes in NYC, and it’s the most relaxing thing a stressed out girl can do. In fact, I laid on that floor for about a good 20 minutes simply breathing and listening to singing bowls.

I can’t tell you how many days temptation nearly led me to lay on the floor publicly just to do this, but I haven’t yielded yet. It seems counter-intuitive, but it calms and centers you when your mind moves too fast. Remember the Vicks vapor rub when you feel like you’re being choked and just… breathe.

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