Can’t Women All Just Get Along?…

Skinny women, fluffy women, in between women? I’ve been in 2 out of 3 of those categories, and I get tired of the evil looks. All I ever did was walk by and be nice to you. I know that look because I used to get it from people that said they were friends.

I woke up thinking of that song “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor. The line that makes me giggle is when she says “I’m bringing booty back”. I love that this song became a mainstream song that celebrates the big girl.

I’ve been friends with my share of fluffy women, and honestly, I wish I was them. I always wished I was them. It’s a shame that only a certain type of woman is seen as beautiful and even sexy, because the truth of the matter is that guys really do like “a little more booty to hold at night.” Besides, there are places in the world where I would never get a second glance because I’m not full figured.

Yet bigger women wish they were thinner. That’s a true shame, really. I hope some of them get to go to places where they get to experience men fawning over them. Every woman deserves to feel sexy. Because she is. No matter what size she may be.

If some of us thinner women are honest (and there are those of us that are), we wish we had the hips, booty and thighs that some bigger women have got. I’ve had friends that were thinner and desired to gain weight. I was one of them at a point in my life. Mostly, I wanted people to stop thinking I was sick and too thin. I felt like an ugly duckling when I was at my thinnest. Before I had time to accept my smaller size, people were thrusting their opinions on me. There were those that thought I looked amazing, which made me question how I looked before and if it was really that awful. Then there was the other camp of people that asked if I had been sick or if I was eating.

Being a person that doesn’t like to be the center of anyone’s attention, it was overwhelming. I ended up being very depressed because I thought I was ugly because of things people said. I wanted to be an in-between girl like I used to be, but maybe with some more booty. But I began to wonder if I should stay thinner because maybe I didn’t look as good as I thought I did then. It was a hard time.

You know what I hate too? The way clothing fits on bigger women, including the intimates. There is this automatic assumption that you have bigger breasts if you’re a larger woman, and that’s not always the case. I can’t imagine what the bra search must be like! Clothing designers also act like bigger women want to hide their figures under circus tents that people dare to call clothing! What for?! This is why, even though I’m not a bigger woman and never have been, I’m thankful for stores like Torrid that have fashionable clothing for plus-sized women. They deserve to look their best just as much as any skinny or in-between woman.

Now I’m still an in-between woman in terms of size, but I got the extra booty that I wanted. That was all thanks to my wonderful personal trainer. Hiring a personal trainer, even though it was for a short time, made me feel empowered and confident in my body. Through thick(er) and thin, I had never felt like that. One day recently, I tried on a swimsuit, and I actually liked the way I looked in it. My body had changed a little bit in terms of how it looked, but what really changed was my mind. If for no other reason, hiring a personal trainer was worth that.

Whatever it takes, I hope that more women start to love themselves and be comfortable in and with their bodies, no matter what size it may be at the time. Let’s face it; our bodies are going to change a lot. Though it won’t be easy all of the time, I wish we loved ourselves where we were, and not because the scale is showing a smaller number.

Only then will we be able to look at another woman and say to her “You look amazing”, and mean it, without feeling like it takes anything away from our beauty. That would be a beautiful thing.

I Am Grateful

There is something for which I am very grateful when I started thinking about it.

It might seem like something small and perhaps a silly thing to be grateful for… but I think this particular object deserves a shout out. Ladies, I think you especially will be able to relate to this.

I am grateful….

for bobby pins.

Really, I am!

Who knows from whence the bobby pin came? I wonder what someone was thinking that made them invent such a wondrous little tool! Did the person see it before they actually invented it? Was it named after someone named “Bobby”? I also never knew if there was a technical name for bobby pins, or if this is what they will forever be named. I guess I got to thinking about all of this as I was using my bobby pins this evening.

They are good for tons of different things besides hair, but I’m specifically grateful for them when used for their intended purpose.

Even before I stopped using chemicals in my hair, I used bobby pins. I probably may not have used them as much as I did after going natural; however, since I’m more “hands on” with my hair these days, I’ve found them to be so very useful and nifty!

When you want your hair out of your face, when you want your hair to do something specific and it’s just too darn short, or when you want to put together the most ornate of styles, bobby pins come to the rescue every time! I remember just how many bobby pins were in my hair when I went to prom; my stylist used a TON of them! It was worth it though; my hair looked great! Also, the one time I got a false ponytail put in at the hair salon, bobby pins were there once again to hold the hair in its place. It was a long “ribbon” of hair that was continuously wrapped around my own small ponytail, and it was held in place with bobby pins.

In both cases when I took my hair down, a serious handful of bobby pins came out of my hair. I doubt either style would’ve held without them.

So this is a shout out to bobby pins! They’ve averted and diverted hair crisis after hair crisis, kept hair (and bangs that are at that awkward length) out of our faces, and have held together elegant and ornate hair styles. I can assure you that if you look at any good or even stunning hair style, the foundation of how it holds up starts or ends with the bobby pin.

Like I said earlier, I don’t know who it was that thought of the bobby pin. I’m sure it was a smaller version of an already existing hair tool that did the same thing; however, this is smaller, easier to handle, and portable! Best of all, if you put a whole bunch in your hair, they don’t hurt (not unless you put them in the wrong way).

They’re even great for creating curls! They’ll hold rollers in (which is how I used them for years), but a type of curl has been created if you lack rollers, but have bobby pins: that would be the pin curl. This is exactly what I did to my hair tonight.

I used to have rollers, but when I cut all my hair off 4 years ago, I thought I didn’t need them anymore… so I got rid of them. Granted, I didn’t need them at the time; no roller is small enough when your hair is caesar cut length. Fast forward to now, here I am with ample hair, rolled into curls held with bobby pins as I type this post.

I wonder what my hair will be like tomorrow, but for now, I will simply be grateful. Thank God for putting it in someone’s mind to invent the bobby pin.

Any woman that has ever used one is forever in your debt.