I wanted to like it…

… but quickly found out that I don’t. It ended up being the reason that I didn’t enjoy dinner that night. This is the most frustrating thing that can happen when you don’t have much to lose concerning food.

It was a normal night at my apartment, where I was figuring out what I should eat. Nothing unusual, right? I decided to try a recipe that I had seen online, and was very excited about it. It looked delicious, and now I had the freedom to make this dish without worrying about who wouldn’t like it.

or so I thought.

I followed all the instructions, making sure to follow everything precisely. The apartment smelled amazing, and I was already salivating. When it came out looking like nothing short of something you’d see in newsprint, I was all too excite to pile some of the rice on my plate, and top it with a perfectly golden chicken thigh.

I excitedly tore off a piece of the chicken with a fork and popped it in my mouth.

Well… it wasn’t what I expected. In fact, it was a little underwhelming. I cautiously put another piece in my mouth and ate some rice with it this time. Flavorful rice makes things better…

…but it surely didn’t this time. In fact, my stomach turned a little.

What on earth happened?! I followed the directions and even made sure the thighs were cooked through! This wasn’t right; how can something so beautiful not match up in taste?? This is when I made a discovery. The cool thing about living on my own is that I’ve been discovering a lot about myself, including the things that I do and don’t like.

I don’t know why I decided to smell the smoked paprika that I bought, but I did. I took a good whiff, and immediately turned my nose up. All in one moment, I immediately saw where I went wrong and figured out why I loathe bbq chips! I had no idea bbq chips had smoked paprika in them until I smelled the spice, which smells exactly like bbq chips.

I had never tasted smoked paprika before then, and assumed in my head that it would be like chili powder; I couldn’t have been more wrong. I thought it would have the same heat, and it doesn’t, and the last thing I expected was that it would smell like one of the few things that I hate eating.

I finally found a spice that I don’t like, and it upsets me a little that I don’t… partially because that’s leftovers that I now have to waste! I don’t want to give it to someone else because it didn’t agree with my stomach, so the only place for it now will be with the squirrels that frequent the dumpsters outside.

Smoked paprika, I’m so sorry. I wanted to like you, but apparently I never did.

The moral of the story is: if something has smoked paprika in it, I’m going to do an about face and look for something else. Also, it’s okay to admit to not liking something as long as you admit it to yourself.

Now let me go out and feed the squirrels. This entry is dedicated to you guys; bon app├ętit!

Bravery is Blue Lips

“You are one of the most courageous people I know.”

This is something that a man once said to me. It was a very high compliment because half of the time, I don’t think I’m being brave. I’m possibly more adventurous than most, and maybe that’s something that people like about me.

Let me tell you, though: nothing will test your mettle like wearing a bold lipstick colour in public.

Now, I’ve worn dark or bold lip colours publicly without thinking twice, and all with good results; however, they were all fairly normal dark colours, like dark browns and purples. I haven’t worn black yet, but that will be soon to come, I’m sure. Nothing, however, tested my nerve like wearing blue lipstick.

The first time I tried it on, I wasn’t sure if I liked it. I’ve never seen that kind of colour on me. I didn’t dislike it, though, so I tried it again in the comfort of my bathroom. Not even my family had seen me wearing it, and I live with them.

Then I decided that today would be the day. I didn’t have to work (because there is no way that I would wear this to work. It defies the conservative dress code), and I was feeling more comfortable seeing myself with this colour. I even liked it. So I shoved the lip colour in my purse, and walked out of the house. I applied it in the car and drove to the Starbucks, even though I could easily walk there. I just wasn’t ready for anyone I knew to see me rock such a bold shade… but for those that know me well, it probably wouldn’t surprise anybody.

As soon as I walked into the Starbucks, the women behind the counter were in awe. “I LOVE YOUR LIPSTICK!!” That reaction was the encouragement that I needed to keep rocking it. In fact, I wore it the entire day to a couple of different stores, and to Painting With A Twist, where I made a very cool picture! The artist that was hosting said she loved my lip colour so that everyone could hear it. There’s even a colour in the painting that matched my lipstick!

I said all of this to say that I relearned something today:

As long as you’re doing something that isn’t harming yourself or anyone else, do it. The fear of what people might think should never hold you back. Who knows if they may draw strength from your tenacity? I’ve gotta say that an unusual lip shade isn’t for the faint of heart because it does draw attention; however, it won’t all be negative. It also gave me a renewed nerve and confidence in myself and how cool I really am. I needn’t be fearful of anything or of how people will perceive me. I learned today that the right people will love the real you when you’re brave enough to show her (or him) to the world.

I bought a coffee mug today that I’d like to end this post with because I feel as though it encapsulates this entry very well: “Be yourself because an original is worth more than a copy.”

I’m so glad I discovered the part of me that likes blue lipstick. She feels more like me than any bold colour I’ve ever worn on my lips.