If We Were Having Coffee…

“Welcome back Marge!”, said one coworker to another on the shuttle bus this morning. She must’ve been on vacation. It briefly reminded me of the coworker at my last job that would say “Welcome to work” every time someone started a shift. 

I started that job 3 years ago. 

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that things-life circumstances, jobs, attitudes towards life-do change. 

I started my previous job this month in 2014. I left that job about a year-and-a-half later to pursue a career as a flight attendant. My life hasn’t been the same since then. 

Things that have changed:

  • I navigate airports at an insanely fast rate. 
  • I’ve become far more patient, and even compassionate. 
  • I own a car after not having had one for 2 years before getting this job. 
  • Even though I have hard days, I have a job that I actually love. Before this job, the other ones were just a paycheck. 
  • Possibly because of the above (and some other circumstances), I’ve become the healthiest that I’ve ever been mentally. 

My life has also changed outwardly because my job was better. My salary nearly doubled, I bought a car a year ago, and now I’m about to embark on one of the most exciting life events yet:

I’m moving into my very own apartment. 

After years of wanting to move, I can finally afford it and I’m ready. I sign the lease the first of next month. 

Now here I am in a new year, sitting on an aircraft before sunrise, watching passengers board as I sip on an iced red eye. I start work in Charlotte, NC today. 

So, to wrap up our early coffee date this morning, I’d say this:

If you find yourself in a stuck or unfavorable situation, be encouraged and don’t give up. Also, don’t make yourself miserable by comparing your life with someone else’s. You’ll get to where you want to be; I’m certain of it. 

I’ll be living my life in anticipation of what will happen next… and I’ll be cheering you on, waiting to see what wonderful things shall happen for you. 

Because it will happen for you. I know it. 

#weekendcoffeeshare

The Hardest Goodbye

If we were having coffee, I’d apologize for missing last week. I was out working this weekend, and had possibly the most emotional weekend ever. 

I had only a 2-day trip this weekend, and was particularly anxious and excited about this layover. A young gentleman that I had spent some time with resides in the area. 

So I text him… only to find out that he is now dating someone. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have taken it as hard as I did, but it turns out that I liked him more than I cared to believe. In any event, I drank far too much wine that night because I didn’t want to deal with my feelings, and ended up crying over a children’s book early the next morning.

 I also took the liberty of texting him (while inebriated, mind you) that I was in the area. He felt badly about it, so he said, and I ended things with “Well good luck, and goodbye.”

The next morning, I see a text saying “Don’t say that.” I cried all over again. After asking him why, it started some more texting. I asked him not to contact me while he was dating someone, and he agreed to it. I couldn’t read the good bye message he left me because the tears pooled up. 

To say I was hysterical is an understatement. I think I cried harder and louder than when my grandfather died. I feel bad for anyone in other rooms that heard, but I was beyond caring. 

Of course, this happens right before I have to get ready to work, so I had to get out of bed, and pack while crying. Listening to “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child helped. 

That was my weekend, and actually, that was the short version. A workout will be much needed to lift my morale. I hope your week and weekend was much better than mine. 

#weekendcoffeeshare

SBF is on its own

So what could this possibly mean?

Well, in simple terms, it means that the misadventures of me seeking Asian food is now its own blog! Rejoice!!!

Does it mean that this page will disappear?

Most certainly not!

I love to eat in general, but I think that particular subject will be able to stand on its own quite well. Asian food is a vast thing that cannot simply be constrained to white takeout cartons and chopsticks. There are many countries within Asia, which means various cuisines. I seem to fall back to it a lot, and I feel that I should start exploring the subject more. So, just like a child that wants to grow up, I decided to give these particular posts their own space. My hope is that it flourishes into something more than I could’ve imagined… but mostly, we’ll see what happens and enjoy the many meals to come.

Check it out, and I hope you enjoy that blog just as much as this one. The same quirky and honest writings that you enjoy here may also be found there. It’ll just be solely food based, and will be about a specific kind of food. It’s specific, but vast enough that the subject won’t be easily exhausted.

So here’s to something new. I’m still Miss Rach, your flight attendant… but I’m also your friendly neighborhood SBF, and I love me some Asian food.

cheers!

#weekendcoffeeshare

New Ramen, New Life

So this entry will combine a life update and an entry where this SBF, once again, sought out Asian food. The best part about this meal was that I got to enjoy it with the aforementioned friend whom is the reason I am an SBF seeking Asian food.

This week was quite the week. I did a lot of things that were new to me, and that completely changed my mind about the way I was viewing life and, consequently, moving through it.

I spent some time with a young man on a layover this time last week. What’s significant about this is that he was someone I trusted easily and quickly, even though I didn’t know him. Leave it to me to find a decent young man online (I don’t think I would have the same luck if I tried this again). Considering how steamy things got, what was wonderful about it was how much fun I had with him. This completely countered the fear I had of being with the opposite sex for years due to past abuse. He was considerate and kind, and most importantly, I felt safe with him. It renewed my faith in the existence of good men, and revived the long lost hope that I, too, may find one someday that I like just as much as he likes me.

I also went on birth control.

I can see y’all being like “What?!” No, I didn’t do it with any intention of getting fresh. I did it for my overall health. I finally visited a female doctor now that I have health insurance. (Yep, it was the first time. No, it wasn’t that pleasant. But I’m glad I went.) She recommended a type of birth control that will only give me a period every 3 months. I may still have bad cramps, but at least I won’t have bad cramps every month. It sounded like a decent option to me. Taking this also means that I’ll have to be more serious about my health since it increases the risk of stroke and blood clots.

Omitting butter from my life completely is non-negotiable, but maybe we can scale it back just a bit.

AND… (can you stand it?) I changed my hair!!!

Now, there was no way I was going to get a relaxer again, but I went to a hair salon for the first time in years! After I stopped using chemicals in my hair, I had a couple of bad experiences. I was scared to visit a salon after that, and the hair horror stories on YouTube didn’t help. However, I knew my hair was in need of some professional help. So I asked for recommendations from women on a Facebook group I’m in. They have natural hair and lived within reasonable driving distance. Lo and behold, a salon was recommended. I went for the consultation to feel the place out. I liked it and felt comfortable enough to book an appointment for the following week. I was not punking out now.

This was the end result.

img_1775

It just so happened that ALL of these events happened in this one week, starting with last Sunday. A new Rachel has been birthed through all of this. I’ve always been the adventurous sort, but now I’m adventurous and feel free in all areas of my life. I feel free to love, and free to take care of myself in the way that I see best. It has produced a calmness in my spirit and soul that I haven’t experienced in a very long time. I feel unshakeable now and secure in myself and with the world around me.

In short, I feel the healthiest mentally that I have ever felt. Now I can really be me.

In this very same week, I went with an old friend to experience something new. I’ve had ramen before, but not at this place. I had the spicy ramen, and it was a bowl of happiness. Although I don’t enjoy eating pork normally (unless it’s bacon), I enjoyed the slices that were part of this ramen, AND ate the fat!

img_1774

If you’re ever in Philly, I recommend this place. This ramen fed more than my stomach; it went straight to this foodie’s heart and soul. It ushered in all of the warmness of the cold seasons that are now upon us. Fall, and even winter, are the times of year that I relish. This ramen was the beginning of good times and better things to come.

Now let me sip this tea before it gets cold…

#weekendcoffeeshare

If we were having coffee

As I drink this spiced cider, I’m glad to have you to talk to. It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but there were cool things that happened too.

My emotions were on a roller coaster the past week or so because in addition to feenin, I received some pretty rough news. It affected my family and the home situation. We were told we would have to leave our home.

If you’ve ever been in that situation, now I know how that feels. I especially had a rough time because I’ve been in this house since I was 5 or 6. On Thursday, I was so in my feelings that I laid in bed, unable to get it together. It felt like I was the only one that cared about us moving so suddenly. I didn’t realize I cared so much about that house until I realized I was being forced out of it. It’s not that I never want to move out one day and be on my own, but I wanted to choose to leave when I felt ready.

Mom got me to go out to the mall with her.

This was one of those cool moments I mentioned earlier. My mom is the greatest; when you put us together, it creates an interesting dynamic that spills over onto other people. You should see what it’s like when ALL of us (mom, sister, nephew and I) are all together. People can’t stop laughing!

We walked into a higher end store, and started talking to one of the saleswomen. She showed us leather passport cases. This led to an in-depth conversation about the current political race and climate, which led to a discussion about history. What I loved most about this is that we were 3 women having an intelligent conversation, which steamrolls over the backwards thinking of those misogynist types. Yes, we discuss more than shopping, clothes, boys and kids (if we have them). Hate to break it to you boys, but I can have a conversation that airs my well-formed opinions AND do my shopping! Can YOU handle that kind of multitasking?

It’s amazing how things can change in just one day. In this same day, we went from not knowing where we’d live to receiving a call that will allow mom to reinstate her mortgage. If I didn’t know that the Lord was good, I sure do now!

Now my love life… I don’t feel as confident about that, but at least I know I’ll have a roof over my head, and a home to come back to. I hope your weekend has been wonderful, filled with brunches and shopping. And, hopefully, a stimulating conversation with a retail worker. They’re people too… sometimes highly intelligent people.

#weekendcoffeeshare

One Became Four

“Go through the door, down the steps, and it’s the second door on the left”, he said.

“Got it”, I replied.

I came out and informed the flight attendant that I tripped on a crooked step. He made sure I was okay, then vowed to fix the stair himself with duct tape.

Mind you, this conversation concerned the lavatory on an airplane. This is what air stewards do.

This is Day 3 of a 4-day trip that was only supposed to be a 1-day trip. Thank God that I had prepared myself with the right amount of food this time; my bank account would not have been able to support me on one day, let alone 4.

  • Day 1: I worked a long behind round trip from Philly to Memphis, then back to Philly. I received a call from scheduling, telling me that I needed to catch a ride to Washington DC, then work a flight to White Plains, NY. Apparently, I missed a call telling me not to catch the ride. Needless to say, I stayed the night in White Plains. It was a short overnight.
  • Day 2: Worked a flight from White Plains early in the morn to go back to Washington DC. I caught a ride to Charlotte, where there were 2 pilots that needed a flight attendant. I had a bacon cheeseburger & fries at around 8:30am (winning!), then slipped into a food coma on the ride from DC to Charlotte, NC. Worked a flight from Charlotte to Columbia, SC. Very short flight. I had complimentary cookies at the hotel, and got a crazy look when I asked the restaurant staff for bread. I had run out of sandwich bread, thinking that I was only going to be gone for 2 days. It had been stretched into 3 by this point.
  • Day 3 (today): woke up this morning and checked my schedule. My 3-day was sprinkled with pixie dust, thus magically turning it into a 4-day trip. Last day is tomorrow, for sure. It’s my last day of reserve (on call). I’ll be home for real, but not before an early start and a grueling work day. Today wasn’t bad at all, but tomorrow is 5 flights, and I gotta catch a ride home from DC to Philly. Today, I worked 3 flights, and caught a ride to Cleveland, OH.

In truth, I don’t mind long trips away from home; when I actually am home, I feel dysfunctional. I don’t know what to do other than eat and sleep, and avoid doing chores. Oddly enough, I can settle into a routine very easily when I’m on-the-go. Being away from home often is almost normal to me, like I was created to live that way. It really isn’t for everyone.

Now I must try my best to sleep, as I’ll have to wake up at 4am tomorrow. Hopefully, the coffee maker works because I suffered today. Usually, I’ll have 1/2 a cup if I feel droopy, but the coffeemaker had other plans today… like to take a vacation and not let me know about it. These things must pass through me; we’re supposed to work together, after all!

I’m kind of glad that I’ll be home tomorrow; food supplies were running low, and my bank account mocks me with low funds.

All I can do is laugh and pray that this, too, shall pass. Thank goodness for fellow flight attendants because no one knows the struggle like they do. One of them that I met today has been doing this 3o years as a part time career. Both were fun guys, and it was a joy to be on their flight.

T’was The Night Before Showtime

My life since about 9pm last night has felt like my stockings: a run-down, to’ up mess.

Today, I was very thankful for my long-sleeved shirt; it covered the very visible scratches on my wrists… stark reminders of last night’s events. There wasn’t much that could be done about the scrapes on my hands, but thankfully, no one pays attention.

Last night was eventful, but not in a desirable way. It involved being out in the cold for hours, blood (literally), and 4 hours of sleep before work. I thank God that scheduling was merciful to me and I only had 3 flights to work; the fatigue made me emotional. Anytime you nearly cry over ripped stockings, quit while and if you can.

All we were supposed to do was get some odds and ends so A (my bestie) could cook Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. After her shift, we planned to: drive to the Walmart that’s open 24 hours, get what we needed, and drive back in plenty of time for me to be able to rest before work, and for her to maybe start baking pies and crash. This is ALL that was supposed to happen.

This is what really happened:

Coming back from Walmart (which had no pie crust), the car started riding strangely and we smelled burning rubber. To our annoyance and dismay, one of the tires was flat… and it decided to go flat on a dark road where it was hard to find a place to pull to the side. There were a couple of houses around and (thankfully) a street light, but there was mostly woods.

Great. Wonderful.

She calls Triple A, who decides to inform her that they weren’t coming out. She had used all of her calls, and they needed money she didn’t have to come out and be of assistance.

Even more wonderful. and it kept getting better.

So then… since I have plenty of experience changing tires because of how many flats I’ve had with my last car, I try to help. While laying on the ground in the dark, I fiddled with the jack from the back of the trunk in an attempt to find proper placement to lift the car. I managed to get the wheel off the ground, and the jack decided to fall and drop the wheel back on the ground. I made another attempt, then quit from frustration and fatigue. Never mix being tired with being determined; the results might be stupid, and efforts will be futile.

We can now cue the blood. I noticed it on the one hand at first, but wasn’t able to see all of the other cuts in the dark. I didn’t receive the pleasure of discovering those until there was suitable lighting available.

Two random gentlemen, two police officers and a relative later, about 2 hours had slipped by. In that time, we managed to: get the car jacked up, remove the nuts, struggle hard with the wheel because it wouldn’t come off the car, and drive to a gas station to put air in the spare tire.

After all of that effort… we STILL couldn’t go anywhere. Why, you might ask?

because within this time, the car battery considered this the opportune time to die. When an attempt was made to jump the car, the end result was melted jumper cables and smoke… and the car still didn’t start. I’ve never seen jumper cables melt, and I pray to never see it again. It was at this time that a line was drawn, and we called it quits until morning.

I jumped in the driver’s seat in my friend’s dad’s car, and drove myself home rather than try to explain to people how to get me home. From our location, getting to my house would normally take 15-20 minutes. I was pulling into my driveway in 13.

Somehow, I managed to get 4 hours of sleep. I got to the airport much later than I wanted to, ran through the airport to clock in on time, and struggled with putting my bag away. I’ve never had that problem. It actually ended up being stuck at our final destination, and I had to get help to extract it from where it was stowed. This is the first time this happened, and it would happen today. Of all days.

I got coffee even though I shouldn’t have; it makes me jittery. The end result is akin to a small child on a sugar high. I tend to get dropsies when I’m that jittery, and boy did I have it bad! It also didn’t agree with me to have coffee that early, so my stomach was rumbling in the worst way. Somewhere in the midst of all of this, I got a very large and visible run in my stockings, and a big hole in the back near the butt which I discovered later. AND… because I decided to wash all of my stockings, I had no other pairs.

yep… it was such a wonderful day. right now, I’m so grateful to be in the hotel where I can get some sleep! I won’t have much food, but I shan’t complain. I’ll sip some tea, take a nice warm bath, and call it a night. I hope y’all have a better Thanksgiving than I did.

Just don’t tell my mom all of this; she just might kill me for trying to be a mechanic in the dark. I know I’m 31, but it makes no difference to her.