Can’t Women All Just Get Along?…

Skinny women, fluffy women, in between women? I’ve been in 2 out of 3 of those categories, and I get tired of the evil looks. All I ever did was walk by and be nice to you. I know that look because I used to get it from people that said they were friends.

I woke up thinking of that song “All About That Bass” by Meghan Trainor. The line that makes me giggle is when she says “I’m bringing booty back”. I love that this song became a mainstream song that celebrates the big girl.

I’ve been friends with my share of fluffy women, and honestly, I wish I was them. I always wished I was them. It’s a shame that only a certain type of woman is seen as beautiful and even sexy, because the truth of the matter is that guys really do like “a little more booty to hold at night.” Besides, there are places in the world where I would never get a second glance because I’m not full figured.

Yet bigger women wish they were thinner. That’s a true shame, really. I hope some of them get to go to places where they get to experience men fawning over them. Every woman deserves to feel sexy. Because she is. No matter what size she may be.

If some of us thinner women are honest (and there are those of us that are), we wish we had the hips, booty and thighs that some bigger women have got. I’ve had friends that were thinner and desired to gain weight. I was one of them at a point in my life. Mostly, I wanted people to stop thinking I was sick and too thin. I felt like an ugly duckling when I was at my thinnest. Before I had time to accept my smaller size, people were thrusting their opinions on me. There were those that thought I looked amazing, which made me question how I looked before and if it was really that awful. Then there was the other camp of people that asked if I had been sick or if I was eating.

Being a person that doesn’t like to be the center of anyone’s attention, it was overwhelming. I ended up being very depressed because I thought I was ugly because of things people said. I wanted to be an in-between girl like I used to be, but maybe with some more booty. But I began to wonder if I should stay thinner because maybe I didn’t look as good as I thought I did then. It was a hard time.

You know what I hate too? The way clothing fits on bigger women, including the intimates. There is this automatic assumption that you have bigger breasts if you’re a larger woman, and that’s not always the case. I can’t imagine what the bra search must be like! Clothing designers also act like bigger women want to hide their figures under circus tents that people dare to call clothing! What for?! This is why, even though I’m not a bigger woman and never have been, I’m thankful for stores like Torrid that have fashionable clothing for plus-sized women. They deserve to look their best just as much as any skinny or in-between woman.

Now I’m still an in-between woman in terms of size, but I got the extra booty that I wanted. That was all thanks to my wonderful personal trainer. Hiring a personal trainer, even though it was for a short time, made me feel empowered and confident in my body. Through thick(er) and thin, I had never felt like that. One day recently, I tried on a swimsuit, and I actually liked the way I looked in it. My body had changed a little bit in terms of how it looked, but what really changed was my mind. If for no other reason, hiring a personal trainer was worth that.

Whatever it takes, I hope that more women start to love themselves and be comfortable in and with their bodies, no matter what size it may be at the time. Let’s face it; our bodies are going to change a lot. Though it won’t be easy all of the time, I wish we loved ourselves where we were, and not because the scale is showing a smaller number.

Only then will we be able to look at another woman and say to her “You look amazing”, and mean it, without feeling like it takes anything away from our beauty. That would be a beautiful thing.

And a man busted out laughing…

…after we were stuck on a small plane for around 2 hours. No, this doesn’t include the actual flight time, which was about 90 minutes more.

Being stuck on an aircraft on the taxiway isn’t fun for anyone involved. Yesterday, on a full 50-passenger aircraft, we were stuck in a holding pattern on the ground because of the weather. Nothing could take off until a new reroute was established.

For me, it’s a stressful thing when this happens. Really, it’s no one’s fault when these events take place, but you still worry that someone is going to lash out. Food seems to help. So does liquor, but there’s never enough to go around in those situations. Besides, giving away all of the alcohol is ill-advised.

The best thing I could do was smile; that was about the only defense I had. I had a smile, some pretzels, water (which was quickly depleted when I did the water service), and some cookies. It wasn’t much, but it seemed to placate people insomuch as food can. Captain made an announcement at regular intervals to update the passengers and I, even if he didn’t have much to tell us. I’ve found that if people at least know what’s going on (even if nothing new has transpired), they stay pretty calm and remain understanding.

Before said announcements, he would call me on the interphone to check on me, and keep me updated before informing passengers of the situation. “Keep smiling!” he would say cheerfully before hanging up. He has no idea how much that helped keep me going.

After about 2 hours on the ground (and like 2 rounds of snacks, including the special delay snack. oy…), we got our route and were ready for takeoff. I was ready for a nap and wanted to be off the airplane… but stewardess life is much like the life of an actor: the show must go on.

The flight proceeded just as any other flight, with me doing a service. I would’ve loved to hide in a corner, but I also wanted to see how folks were faring. Besides, they may have wanted something more than water. It turns out that they did; I sold a crazy amount of alcohol! I haven’t beat my personal best yet, but it got close. As I approached two gentlemen sitting together, one of them did ask for a beverage. “I’m fine, please”, the other replied. Then he quickly corrected himself and said “I’m fine, thank you.”

…and he laughed. It was a big, hearty, tension-breaking laugh. I could feel the atmosphere in the plane change when he did that, and it certainly shifted my mood and feelings. To be able to laugh after such an ordeal was a blessing to me, and I’m sure to those that heard him. I even laughed with him.

Those were among the nicest group of passengers I’ve had the pleasure to serve, and moments like that are why I love my job and what keeps me going on hard days. When we finally landed in Indianapolis, IN and everyone got off, we the crew were blessed with smiles and “thank yous”. The more memorable ones were “Thank you for taking care of us”, and the last passenger that got off told me I had a great smile. There were two more flights to work, and they were back-to-back so that we could catch up, but that flight helped me carry on.

The man that laughed also gave his thanks, and walked off the plane, onto the jetway, and out of sight.

Quick Post: I love it when…

I make a man blush or when I see a man blush.

You see, I get very nervous around men because I’m mostly afraid of them. I’m afraid because I’ve experienced some sexual abuse, sexual harassment by the fathers of a couple of my friends, and I’ve been hurt on an emotional level by the opposite sex. Sadly, I tend to associate interactions with the opposite sex with pain. I think this has, in some ways, made me not see men as people.

I know it’s silly and horrible, because not all men are like that. Not all men will hurt you on purpose. Not all men are as sex crazed as women are taught that they are, or that even men are taught that they should be. In fact, some men will protect and defend any woman that an abusive and sex-crazed man would dare to violate… and she doesn’t even have to be a daughter, mother, or sister. She could be just a friend, and I’ve seen men more than willing to dole out a can of butt kick on anyone that dare hurt a woman.

So, to me, a man being nervous or showing timidity in any way doesn’t compute in my head… until I see that redness creep from his ears to his cheeks, and spread fully across his face. To me, that makes a man more human than if he curses if he drops something on his foot, or if he picks his nose when he thinks no one is looking.

Blushing is something I’m all too familiar with; I get nervous all the time! If I’m attracted to a man or think a man is attracted to me, I blush instantly… and I’m not dark skinned, so you’ll know if I’m blushing. If a man blushes, especially in front of me, it makes him all the more endearing, and human. He feels that nervousness that would create a blush on his face. If he blushes because of me, part of me rejoices and says “Thank God!” It means that I don’t have to be the only one that’s feeling timid; he feels that, too.

I don’t have to be brave all by myself; we can be scared together.

Sometimes it doesn’t have a thing to do with being nervous; I’ve found that the easiest way to make a really good man blush is to compliment him.

I remember once I was in a corner store, and there was this attractive, well dressed man standing in front of me in line. I told him that I liked his shirt, and he thanked me. I even went on to say that the rest of him didn’t look so bad either. Well, he blushed from ear to ear, and managed to mumble a “thank you” to me.

no lie, that was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. That was like 7 years ago, and I still remember that. It was one of those wonderful days where I didn’t necessarily connect with a man, but with another human. Men are human, after all. 🙂